Human Nature
by La Romanesque
Summary: Shunsui wanted to keep her in close, because he had lost the woman he had let go, and Nanao wanted to keep him at a distance, or he might never let her grow to match that woman. The memory of her friendship with Yadomaru Lisa haunts Nanao a century later.
1. Chapter 1

Nanao set to work on the pile of paperwork she had found stuffed in the bottom drawer of Captain Kyouraku's desk. The forms were unfamiliar to her; he had probably whisked them off her desk before she got to work in an effort to encourage his precious Nanao to play hooky. Settling her glasses squarely on her nose, she perused the contents more carefully. They weren't particularly important papers, she decided, and could probably safely be tossed. Very safely, she thought, when she realized they were over a hundred years old. She sighed. Who knew what Shunsui had in the bowels of his desk drawers, how many critical documents he'd thrown aside. But it was too late now. She resigned herself to cleanup duty, pulled out the entire drawer, and upturned it over the garbage bin. Much to her surprise, when she hit the bottom of the drawer to knock out the last scraps of paper and dust, a long, flat piece of wood clattered to the floor and a not particularly thin stack of porno magazines slid out into the trash.

_Actually, this doesn't surprise me much._

She leaned over to grab the volumes, wondering why she even bothered to pick them up. Was she really curious about the sort of girly magazines her captain read? The answer seemed apparent when she realized she hadn't put them down. The first cover made her blush, and she quickly moved that to the bottom of the stack. The second…

She stopped, petrified, then turned a bright red, which soon faded to palest horror. How in god's name had this ended up in Captain Kyouraku's desk? Still in shock, she sunk cross-legged to the floor and numbly thumbed through the pages. God, it brought back memories…

* * *

If Captain Kyouraku Shunsui had a reputation for coddling the young women of his squad, his lieutenant was known to push them to breaking point. So a personal invitation for private lessons from Yadomaru Lisa was the last thing that Nanao expected after only two weeks on squad eight.

"You're exceptionally talented, Ise," Lieutenant Yadomaru told her after kidou practice. "I'd like you to study with me. I have an exceptional kidou library that I daresay you could put to better use than some of the dimwits they've appointed as my officers. Let's say the first, seven o' clock. You know where the officer's quarters are?"

Nanao had nodded enthusiastically, not trusting her youthful voice to maintain a dignified pitch in her excitement. Yadomaru Lisa was her commanding officer, and Nanao looked up to her with an immense respect that Nanao assumed all shinigami gave their superiors. But then, Lieutenant Yadomaru was exceptional. The first time Nanao had ever wielded her zanpakutou, she had worried that her small frame would limit her forever. At first it was a disadvantage, as the raw new recruits fought with brute strength and little else. As they grew, and learned to harness their reiatsu and perform spells, the playing field leveled, and in some cases, even tipped. Nanao was only a little shorter than Lieutenant Yadomaru, and she was the same size as Lieutenant Hiyori. They were her role models, and the unseated slip of a shinigami was thrilled to be invited to read with one of her goddesses.

Nanao arrived at the Lieutenant's quarters exactly on time, her own kidou textbook tucked under her arm in case it was needed. She knocked eight times, for good luck.

"What do you need now, you lazy ass? I'm telling you, if you want me to read your damn love poems, you better be willing to pay me-"

The door opened to reveal a furious Lieutenant Yadomaru, dressed in a white bathrobe. Her expression morphed from anger to confusion, until her eyes moved from their accustomed Kyouraku viewing mode downward to the petite girl standing outside the threshold.

"Oh, it's you. Funny, you knock just like the captain. Come in, come in. Don't worry, I only bite Shunsui."

Nanao followed Lisa to a low table in the middle of the room. Lieutenants, unlike the unseated shinigami and lower seated officers, who slept together in the dormitories, had their own personal living quarters, which, while not luxurious, were large enough for a few personal effects. Lisa's held a towering bookshelf, probably the one of which she had bragged, a comfortably sized armoire, and her futon rolled up into the corner. A small kitchen was attached in the back, where Lisa now occupied herself with the tea things while Nanao knelt and settled herself at the table, taking in her surroundings. There were books lying scattered around the room along with bottles of all shapes and sizes. Nanao was a bit shocked by the easiness of her Lieutenant. She realized that she had failed to use the proper title when referring to their captain a moment ago, indeed she even seemed to be on a scandalous first name basis with the man, and Lisa was hardly dressed to receive company. Nanao was surprised. Lieutenant Yadomaru was a disciplined leader in drill, and she nearly ran the division by herself. Apparently the attitude did not extend to her personal life. That thought gave Nanao a little thrill, reminding her that she was in the personal quarters of her commanding officer. Nanao sat up a little straighter in her own perfectly pressed black hakama. Composure was always her fallback when she felt intimidated.

Lisa returned from the kitchen carrying her tea tray, which she set in front of her before flopping down cross legged at the table across from Nanao.

"Make yourself comfortable. Do you take sugar in your tea?"

"No, thank you Lieutenant Yadomaru."

"That's a mouthful. Just Yadomaru is fine. I mean, for now. You still have to call me lieutenant in public. I may be easy, but I'm not as easy as Shunsui. Yeah, don't call him that either. You may be a cute girl, and he'd probably let you get away with it, but that's my privilege, Ise, and I've damn well worked hard for it"

Nanao's eyes widened a little. She knew Captain Kyouraku's reputation for lax manners, but to ignore even basic modes of address, of rank- the thought was startling. And she swore too.

"So, where should we start?"

She relaxed, happy for a subject she felt prepared for. Kidou she knew. The intricacies of intra-divisional relationships were dangerous. Nanao pushed her glasses up on her nose and opened up her textbook

"Well, I thought we could start with simple offensive spells, which we've practiced a few times but I don't feel I have the theory down. And then…"

Nanao was rattling off spells and lesson plans at a mile a minute. This was her forte. But Lisa was with her every step of the way. Within a quarter of an hour, Nanao had moved her cushion right next to her lieutenant, and the two were nose to nose over one of Lisa's advanced manuals.

Lisa was impressed. The girl still had a lot to learn, but her enthusiasm and determination were formidable. She also had a personality that frankly puzzled the lieutenant. Nanao possessed a rectitude in her bearing and manners that seemed almost excessive. She'd seemed almost nervous when Lisa asked her to skip the honorifics, yet in a manner of minutes here she was, close enough for Lisa to touch. In a way she was reminded of Shunsui, although Nanao's open earnestness was directed towards learning and not towards flirting. At the same time Lisa looked at Nanao and thought of herself, the one who played the straight man and gave the public a show of discipline. But that thought was ironic, mused Lisa, considering that in the private sphere, she and Shunsui could be as alike as two peas in a pod.

The tea cups were practically full and stone cold at nine o' clock when Nanao, still fully immersed in the text in front of her, noticed the time. She was normally in bed by ten, and with a five o' clock kendo drill the next day, she had hoped to be asleep early. Lisa, who was lost in her own personal musings on personality types in the eighth division, hardly noticed Nanao rise to bid her farewell.

"Goodnight Lieutenant Yadomaru."

"Hmmm... Oh, I suppose you've got to be up before the crack of dawn tomorrow. Well, here, take these books for now. Hopefully they'll last you until our next meeting."

Lisa grabbed a few volumes from the shelf, along with the thick text that was open on the table, and stacked them in her protégé's awaiting arms. The girl could barely see over the top, and when she bowed gamely to take her leave, the top one slid off and fell to the floor with a loud thump. Nanao looked embarrassed, and, since her hands were busy trying to keep control of the remaining books, scrunched up her face to try to get her glasses farther up on her nose. Her black pigtails swaying as she bent over, Lisa picked up the fallen tome and smirked at Nanao's bizarre expression.

"Here," she said gently, taking a couple of books from Nanao's grasp, "I'll walk you back"

Nanao stood perfectly still. "Th th thank you, but…"

What could the girl e so worried about? Was Nanao afraid of her? Lisa couldn't quite tell who this stammering little thing was, or what she had done with the confident kidou prodigy.

"Nonsense! It's no trouble at all, Ise, I'll just accompany you to-" Lisa's toe had barely crossed the doorframe before Nanao could stand it no longer.

"Yadomaru!"

The woman in question stopped.

"Huh?" She hadn't even noticed the use of her name sans title.

Nanao bowed deeply, not daring to meet Lisa's eyes.

"Excuse me for yelling," she said to the floor, "but I cannot allow you to step outside without asking if you would rather not put on some clothes before escorting me home."

Lisa looked at her quizzically.

"Oh, is that all. Well, if you insist."

She threw on one of the yukata that lay in a heap next to the table, and tied it shut in the front with a sloppy bow. She stared at her handiwork with a frown.

"I never could get the hang of these things. Oh well, I suppose it will suffice for a trip across the barracks."

Nanao set down her books.

"I can tie it for you… um, that is, if you don't mind, Lieutenant Yadomaru."

"If you really want to, Ise, but I don't think that's necessa-."

Nanao adjusted her glasses. They flashed in the moonlight.

"-ry."

Before Lisa knew it Nanao was tugging the bow untied. She raised her arms and let the girl cinch the obi around her waist. She certainly knew how to take control of a situation quickly. Perhaps she would make officer material someday.

"Thank you Ise. I suppose we ought to get going."

Apparently satisfied, Nanao retrieved her books and led the way out the door. When her back was turned, Lisa gave a surreptitious shrug to loosen her sash. The girl was fastidious. When they reached the entrance to the dormitories, Nanao insisted upon continuing the rest of the way herself. And so, after promising to send a butterfly the next evening she was free, Lisa left the small girl tottering off towards her bed under a mountain of books, hoping that she would make it without incident. Her concerns, she was sure, were certainly misplaced. After their short evening together, Lisa suspected that Ise Nanao could take care of herself.

Nanao was torn between rushing through the stack and taking her time to savor every page. She desperately wanted to impress Lisa, but she had no idea when to expect their next meeting. She hoped that her lieutenant wasn't nearly as forgetful as Captain Kyouraku, who had been known to miss training sessions due to naps and lunch dates. She assumed Lisa wasn't, otherwise she was sure that the division wouldn't run at all.

For the next week, every time Ise Nanao saw a butterfly float past her, her heart skipped a beat, only to sink again as it continued towards some other recipient. Eight days later, while she was sitting in bed absorbed in one of her kidou texts, she felt a whisper in her ear. She nearly jumped out of her skin. Her blood was pounding in her brain so loudly she barely heard the message. By instinct, she pulled a small black notebook from her sleeve and scribbled down the date the butterfly told her.

Tomorrow night. 8 o' clock. Lieutenant Yadomaru's.

The look of the words on the page pleased her.

The next day, an hour before the designated meeting time, Nanao fought with herself over what to wear. Before the first session, she had assumed that her uniform would be the only appropriate attire for visiting the lieutenant. But Lisa herself contradicted that rule the moment she opened the door. Would she think Nanao stuffy and stuck up if she wore her black robe and hakama to an outside of work meeting? That thought made Nanao even more nervous. Would their time together be considered socializing? Was she mingling with a superior officer in an inappropriate way? She wasn't really afraid of being reprimanded, especially in Captain Kyouraku's division, but life was so much easier when one operated within the bounds of her rank and office. That was why military hierarchy existed, right?

Rummaging through the chest at the foot of her bed that contained all her worldly possessions, Nanao found the yukata she had brought from home. It was blue cotton, resist dyed in white with an allover pattern of small diamonds. She thought it was a bit masculine, but it was the nicest one she had. It would have to do. She tied it carefully with the same plain white obi she wore with her uniform and slipped on a pair of geta. Gathering up her books- in a good sized bag this time- she clacked her way across the barrack courtyard to Lieutenant Yadomaru's.

The second evening passed much as the first had. Tea was served, and then forgotten as the pair worked their way through Lisa's bookshelf. When the kidou books were exhausted, or simply too exhausting for an entire evening, they moved on to military strategy and tactics.

At ten o'clock, Nanao had risen, bowed, and, this time without incident, allowed Lisa to walk her back to the barracks. On the way back to her quarters, Lisa mused over the session. She had been surprised by Ise's dress, and had briefly considered the idea of rebuking the girl for showing up out of uniform. Lieutenant Yadomaru was, after all, the face of discipline in the eighth division. But upon recollection of her own state of dishabille the first evening, Lisa decided that, unwitting or not, she had made a statement by making their meetings private and individual. Upon further reflection, she wondered if maybe that was just what Nanao needed, especially to get on in the eighth. The girl seemed to already have the military discipline Lisa had to beat into many of her division's more determined drunkards. Lisa found that many of the eighth's rank and file shinigami aspired to be Shunsui- lazy but brilliant. Most succeeded only in the former trait. Nanao, on the other hand, aspired to be, well… her. But then, Lisa thought for the second time, she and Shunsui were more alike in certain areas than anyone knew. Perhaps Nanao simply needed help to develop the more… liberal side of her personality. Lisa knew that would have been Shunsui's take from the beginning. But the cajoling of a chronic inebriate and writer of bad love poetry wouldn't be nearly as convincing to the girl as the reasoned advice of the taskmaster who dragged said drunkard by the short hairs. It was ironic, Lisa thought, but perhaps providential that she be the first to loosen up Ise Nanao.

As the evenings passed, they set out tangentially from work related subjects. It started with a discussion on military strategy as related to the game of go, and gradually Nanao was eased into sharing her memories of childhood games in the Rukongai. On the seventh evening, Lisa felt, somewhat against her better judgment, that it was time to bring the sake bottle out of the cupboard. She knew that Shunsui often employed this tactic to ease the anxieties of his subordinates when personal meetings were required, but Lisa, though renowned for her amiability and tolerance when out drinking with her comrades, had never used alcohol to connect with juniors. And while she wanted to help the girl, she wasn't ready to risk the credibility of her position by becoming her friend. But she couldn't just toss one of her preferred novels at the girl and call the job done, much as she might have liked to, so she hoped a shared cup of wine might lead to something.

So, feeling it was her duty as a responsible mentor, Lisa disguised the social drinking as a practical exercise. When Nanao walked into her apartment, Lisa was already seated at the small table with a jug of sake before her. Nanao sat down across from Lisa, setting her textbook down beside a green wine cup. Lisa shook her head.

"You won't need that tonight." She gestured at the book. "I have a more practical exercise in mind."

Nanao moved the book under the table, out of the way. "Yes, Lieutenant Yadomaru."

Lisa looked at the girl. She still wouldn't drop the title. Another day, Lisa thought, or perhaps tonight, if things went as planned.

"This is a task in healing kidou, which I'm assuming that you're not as skilled at as the combative arts, since if you were you'd be in the fourth division." She poured two cups of sake, one for herself and one for Nanao, and wondered how much Shunsui would have given to be present at her little event. "Your task is to perform a non-verbal spell that will negate the effects of drunkenness. You will then test it on yourself. If it works, I will personally find Captain Kyouraku and you will perform the spell on him." She had just made up the second part off the top of her head, but decided it would be a decent punishment for Shunsui getting smashed on a Tuesday. Provided, of course, that Nanao found a way to do it. Lisa couldn't decide which she wanted more, a sober Kyouraku Shunsui or a soused Ise Nanao. She was impatient to see who would get their way.

"Well," she said to Nanao, "to your health and success." Lisa picked up her wine cup, toasted her companion, and downed the contents in one gulp. She looked at the girl over the brim, waiting to see what she would do. Lisa was practically smiling in anticipation.

Nanao nodded, picked up her cup with both hands, and drank deeply. Upon finishing, she scrunched up her face in concentration, and began folding her hands in the motion of a spell. A pale yellow light surrounded her midsection, and she stood up, albeit shakily, to demonstrate her sobriety. She was breathing hard, but looked determined to remain in control of herself.

"Good." Lisa tipped the jug of sake. "Next cup."

Nanao didn't last much longer. There was indeed a reason that Nanao had not been placed in the fourth division, but with the way that she held her alcohol, Lisa wondered if she would survive the eighth. Hopefully Shunsui wouldn't find out about the disaster. The girl had collapsed after her fourth cup, her reiatsu flaring madly, still trying to defeat her ailing body. Lisa, who had egged her on with an almost sadistic pleasure, now laid Nanao out on her futon with care. Nanao sighed and laid her head on Lisa's knee. Lisa slipped Nanao's glasses off where they were digging into her nose. Without their shining shields, Nanao's eyes glared fiercely at her lieutenant.

"You know," Nanao croaked, "I've never been drunk before."

"Never?"

Nanao shook her head. The motion brought her closer in to Lisa's lap.

"You weren't ever curious?"

"I don't like being out of control."

"It's alright, Ise."

Nanao sniffled. "I can't believe I failed you, Lieutenant."

Lisa was surprised. "You didn't fail me, Ise. If it was anyone's failing, it was mine. You just need more practice."

"More kidou practice or more practice drinking?"

Lisa laughed silently, her shoulders shaking a little. It was the closest Nanao had come to a joke since they'd started their meetings. "Whichever you want. Either way, you know where to find me."

Nanao smiled and closed her eyes. She seemed to be falling asleep, or further into a stupor. She murmured to herself. Lisa could feel Nanao's breath on her bare knee, or else she wouldn't have noticed the girl's whisper.

"Why is Yadomaru so nice to me? My squad mates think I'm bossy and stuck up. They were talking about me today in the mess. I don't think they saw me behind my book."

Lisa thought she felt a tear roll down Nanao's cheek.

"But Yadomaru likes me. And that counts for more, right? Even if she is the only person in the eighth who's bossier than me. Everyone loves her, though. I wonder what her secret is."

Lisa, who knew exactly what her secret was, blushed. Nanao sighed. Before she fell asleep, she wondered if she had just spoken out loud or not. She hoped she hadn't. But would it be so bad if she had? Nanao was afraid she was developing something of a crush on her lieutenant, and it was probably the closest she'd ever come to telling her.

When Nanao woke up the next morning, she had a terrible headache and found herself, inexplicably, in her own bed, despite being unable to remember how she got there. There was also a note from Lisa, who must have carried her back to the barracks sometime in the night. The note had another challenge from her lieutenant, this time to find a spell to cure hangovers, with the same parameters as before- test on self, then run over to the office to try it out on Captain Kyouraku. Nanao felt embarrassed. Lieutenant Yadomaru was mocking her now, and she remembered enough of the night before to be ashamed, indignant, and readier than ever to prove her worth. Fighting the pounding in her head, Nanao opened up her book of healing kidou and began thumbing through the index.

The next evening, despite Nanao's perfect punctuality, her knocks on the door of Lisa's flat failed to summon the lieutenant. Lisa had taught her the spell for the lock, and told her to let herself in if she ever needed anything. Nanao considered the idea of merely waiting outside on the step, but decided that her improper fraternizing with her superior officer would be less noticeable if no one saw her hanging around outside her room. She let herself in.

There was nothing inside to indicate that anything was amiss. Nanao expected that Lisa was merely running a bit late from that afternoon's patrol and would be back soon. She supposed that she could take advantage of Lisa's absence to get some studying done, and headed for the bookshelf to take a look.

Nanao had never had the chance to really peruse the shelves with much care. Usually Lisa picked the books. It was, after all, her library. Nanao picked a volume without much thought then took a step back with her find. With the change in perspective, she could see the whole bookshelf.

Lisa was only a little taller than Nanao, and as a result Nanao found her quarters very comfortable. Everything in the kitchen was within her reach, the table was just the right height, and paintings and clocks were hung on the walls at her eye level. In such an environment, Nanao had grown unaccustomed to looking up, despite the fact that it was normally necessary when dealing with most other shinigami. But today, Nanao's gaze was drawn a bit higher.

She was shocked. The entire top shelf of Lisa's bookcase was filled with porn. She blushed, despite the fact that she was entirely alone in the room. Before she knew it she was on her tiptoes, her short arm stretching as far as it could.

What could she say? She was…curious.

Her fingers barely reached the nearest volume as she balanced precariously on her toes. She'd slipped it off the shelf and was bringing it down to her chest when she heard footsteps outside the door. She whipped her head sideways in terror, her eyes nearly bugging out of her glasses. The sudden movement caused her to lose her balance, and she fell backwards onto the floor. The magazine flew out of her hand and landed open beside her. Her heart beating terribly, she scrambled to grab the book and rushed to the table. She shoved it under her cushion and knelt down, acting- badly- as if nothing had happened.

To her surprise the footsteps faded. She was relieved that crisis had been averted, but she squirmed in her seat all the same. It was still there, under her knees, but there was no way she could justify pulling it out now. Did she want to be caught that badly? Sighing, Nanao pushed her glasses further up her nose before glancing down towards her feet. The corner of the porno peeked out at her, and she grabbed it before she could think of a reason not to. She settled into a more comfortable position. The magazine fit neatly into the crook of her crossed legs, which she slid under the table and out of the view of anyone walking in.

Not that that fooled Lisa for one moment. Nanao never sat cross legged insisting on maintaining a more dignified kneel. But that was merely secondary evidence. The bugged, disbelieving eyes and slackened jaw were obvious.

"So, how is it?"

Nanao almost jumped a foot in the air. She was at a loss for words.

"Eh? What? Oh, this?"

She shut the magazine and pulled it into her lap, her sleeves covering most of the embarrassing cover.

"It's nothing."

Lisa sat down next to Nanao and yanked the porno from her hands before she could react. She looked it over with a serious air, noting the title and author. She turned to Nanao and adjusted her own glasses before speaking.

"This is not nothing. This is one of the best volumes I own. You know how much trouble it is to get these things? I happen to own one of the best collections of erotic fiction in Soul Society, barring the Captain, of course. And I'm a lot more forthcoming in lending than he is. Nearly all the seated officers in the eighth have borrowed from me at some point in time. Captain Love from seventh stops by almost every morning."

Nanao thought that she was more disconcerted by Lisa's seriousness than she would have been by teasing. Her discomfort was eased only slightly when Lisa gave her a sly sideways smile.

"And now that I know you're interested, you're more than welcome to-"

"NO!" Nanao shrieked defensively. "Er, no, I'm fine, thank you."

Lisa shrugged. "If you insist. They're nothing wrong with it though. It's hard being a shinigami. You've got a hundred hollows to kill in the living world, plus training and night patrol around Sereitei. There's really no time for romance. We have to make it up on our own. A way to unwind, you know, to relax." She looked at Nanao closely, rolling the ero magazine in her hands. There was an uncomfortable silence. "I was worried about you," Lisa said, "after that night you were drunk. Some of the things you said…I was afraid you were turning bitter. I was afraid you were going to become Third Seat Kurotsuchi, or a Kuchiki, or something like that. I know you want to succeed. Just… be careful," she finished. Nanao looked ashamed, and wouldn't make eye contact with Lisa. Lisa felt slightly angry, a little frustrated. She wished that Nanao would react. Call her a pervert, tell her she was corrupting the morals of Soul Society, anything but this silent obedience. "Maybe when you're a little older, you'll learn."

Nanao's heart fluttered. She felt ashamed, and heartbroken, that Lieutenant Yadomaru would feel the same way about her as everyone else. Nanao the bossy, stuck up, unfeeling, heartless cold bitch. This from the one person she thought might understand her. She felt so many different things when it came to Lieutenant Yadomaru. She was her mentor and superior officer, a senior to look up to. Nanao was thankful for that, and her conscience told her that their relationship should have been clear there. But against all reason, or at least Nanao's, she wanted Lisa to be her friend. So why did she feel like she was a schoolgirl who'd been caught by her teacher. Why didn't she have the confidence to see herself as Lieutenant Yadomaru's equal? Nanao realized it was her own fault. Lisa had given her no lectures, no chastisement. If anything, she had, in her own twisted way, encouraged the girl to loosen up a bit. But the last line had rankled.

"_Maybe when you're older…"_

She hated it when people dismissed her as a little girl. She was older than she looked, but sometimes in the Sereitei, a person could get stuck in a rut, as it were. She had been so overwhelmed by the experience and power of everyone around her that she often felt like a small child, and it irked her. No matter how many spells she mastered or how well she communed with her zanpakutou, she couldn't hide her own lack of confidence. But she'd done it, hadn't she? She'd put on a yukata. She'd drunk sake with her superior officer. And by god, she'd taken the porno right off the shelf. Well, there was nothing for it but to grab the bull by the horns. Or rather, grab Lisa by her charming wrists and pull her down for a kiss.

_This is an interesting turn of events_, Lisa thought, but didn't get much farther than that. She was a very practical person, and as any practical person would do she made the best of the situation. She went for it. It was, of course, Nanao's first kiss, and she hadn't quite been expecting such an… enthusiastic response. But she wasn't about to Lisa get the better of her. That was why she'd kissed her in the first place, wasn't it? So the kiss lasted a moment longer before the two broke apart.

They sat looking at each other. Lisa's expression was quizzical, one eyebrow raised. Nanao defiantly wiped her lip, the other hand remaining steady only by its tight grip on the side of her glasses. At last she spoke, any meekness in her voice when faced with her lieutenant moments ago now disappearing under her authoritative tone.

"I know we're just friends. I know…I just…" _wanted to prove to you_ _that I can be spontaneous? _Nanao thought,_ Wanted to show that my life is not ruled by shame? That I might love you?_ She stopped trying to think of a better explanation for her unexpected action. "I was just curious."

"That's my line." But the corners of Lisa's mouth turned up ever so slightly. Nanao had thought of one of the more interesting ways to show she had a heart.

Nanao adjusted her glasses and surprised Lisa for a second time. "And, um, speaking of curiosity…could I borrow the magazine? I'd like to finish it tonight."

Lisa shook her head. "I don't know what they're going to say about me when they hear I got the youngest member of the eighth turned onto porn. They already think I'm perver-"

Nanao cut her off, this time going for the nosebridge of her glasses. She caught the full moon straight on, and the reflection in the lenses was nearly blinding.

"If you so much as breathe one word about this, I. Will. Have. Your. Head. After all," Nanao continued, "I still do call you Lieutenant Yadomaru in public.

"If you insist." Small steps, Lisa thought. She got up, then unrolled her futon and stacked her blankets and pillows up against the wall, creating an impromptu couch.

So the two sat shoulder to shoulder with Lisa's arm around Nanao in a sisterly fashion, each with one hand on the opposite side of her magazine. It was typical BL, thin on plot, with sex scenes that made Nanao giggle.

Nanao was just starting to drift off onto Lisa's shoulder when there was a knock at the door.

Lisa didn't even look up as she called out to the unknown visitor.

"Come in."

Nanao was mortified, and kept her head down, eyes fixed on the page in front of her. It was likely only Captain Kyouraku- after all, who else would be calling so late at night- but she wasn't sure that helped. Any other shinigami would ignore the puny, unseated girl in favor of the lieutenant, but he already seemed to take an almost unhealthy interest in all the eight division's female members…

However, Nanao's projection was proved false as she watched the visitor's slim- and _socked_- feet shuffle into the room over the edge of her magazine.

"Er, Lieutenant Yadomaru, I'm terribly sorry to bother you at this hour, but- oh."

The voice was that of Captain Ukitake Juushiro. And he'd clearly seen Nanao. She was mortified that he would notice just what she was reading, and for the first time that evening was nervous about how close she was sitting to Lisa.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"Nothing at all, Captain," Lisa responded, her voice still unfathomably calm. Nanao turned pink.

"Ah, well, uh, that's good. Yes. Lieutenant Yadomaru, do you know where I could find Shunsui…" Ukitake asked. "I need him to… well, uh… do you know where he is?" He finished lamely.

Lisa ignored the Captain's embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I don't know where Shunsui is. There are a number of bars you could try."

Ukitake coughed, rather unconvincingly considering his condition. When she had become a shinigami Nanao had taken great care to learn everything about all the captains and lieutenants, and she knew that the leader of the thirteenth had tuberculosis. She also knew that he and Captain Kyouraku had been friends ever since the early days of the Academy almost two thousand years ago.

"No, you know, I'm feeling a bit- _cough_- ill now, I think I'll just go to bed. Maybe he'll be back in the morning." Ukitake turned and reached for the door.

With a touch of deviousness in her voice, Lisa interrupted Ukitake's retreat. "Wait, Captain, you haven't met my reading partner here."

Nanao would have been perfectly happy to let him leave unaccosted. Under other circumstances, she would have leapt at the chance to make the acquaintance of such a wise and experienced shinigami, but she was mortified that this- she dropped the magazine they had been reading- would be his first impression of her. Nanao forced herself to look up and meet Ukitake's eyes with confidence. She was surprised to notice that the senior captain was blushing too, the pink in his cheeks set off by the shocking white of his hair. Lisa remained unperturbed.

"This is Ise Nanao, the eighth's youngest member. She and I have been studying together; Nanao is really quite an accomplished kidou master."

Nanao pulled herself to her feet and bowed deeply. No matter what the situation seemed, she wasn't going to let Ukitake think she had no sense of propriety, and the formal pose and address gave her assurance. Old habits died hard.

"It is truly an honor to meet you, Captain Ukitake. I hope you enjoy a swift recovery"

Ukitake was somewhat taken aback, but he smiled.

"Well, unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon, but I appreciate the sentiment. It's an honor to meet you too, Miss Ise." The smile remained on his face as he slid the door open behind his back and stepped awkwardly out of the room. "Goodnight Lieutenant Yadomaru, Miss Ise."

Not until Ukitake was gone did Nanao relax.

"He's not usually like that," Lisa told her.

Nanao considered this for a moment then asked the question that was begging to be said.

"Why was Captain Ukitake looking for Captain Kyouraku? He seemed a little nervous."

"Oh, that?" Lisa's shoulders shook a little, and she coughed even less convincingly than Ukitake had. 'It's nothing."

Nanao could tell when a secret was being kept from her, but didn't press the issue. She sat down and picked up her magazine again to finish the last few pages before leaving. When she reached the back cover she had an epiphany. The heroes of the stories looked back at her, the younger one blushing with the same innocent expression that Captain Ukitake had worn moments ago. With his long hair and girlish face, she wondered… then grinned. Did she dare? She hadn't drawn in years, and she'd been trying to kick the habit. Finally she considered the boldness she had discovered that evening.

Of course she did.

She bid Lisa good night, taking with her only the BL magazine, and the beginnings of a truly inspired interpretation of a certain womanizing captain and his closest friend.

Nanao would have skipped to Lisa's the next time they had a reading night, if she could have found a dignified way to do so. Inside the kidou textbook she still brought out of habit- and as an excuse if anyone stopped her on the way- were the first ten pages of her yaoi doujinshi, starring Kyouraku Shunsui, seme, whose familial pressure and own moral aversion to his homosexuality provoke his crude skirt-chasing, and Ukitake Juushiro, uke, whose polite charm and innocence break down his lover's inhibitions towards his true feelings.

Lisa looked them over with a discerning eye, quietly pleased. "I had no idea you drew, Ise."

"Well, I've been trying not to," Nanao admitted. "My mother found one of my sketchbooks before I was sent to school and told me they were unbecoming for the dignity of a shinigami. As a sort of compromise, I started drawing het stuff during academy. But the truth is," Nanao sighed sadly, "I do yaoi better."

"I see you've chosen the schoolboy drama approach. Good choice." She turned to the next page. "These panels need a bit of cleaning up, but nothing I can't fix."

She put the pages on the table. "This is really perfect you know. You're a lot better at plot than I ever was, even though you're missing the best part. But I can fix that." She grabbed a boring looking tome from the bookshelf and shook it by the spine. Several pages of sketches fell out. "Here we are. We'll just interpose these with your pages, and we can publish next week."

Nanao picked up a page. "Lieutenant! When did you draw these? These are… brilliant."

"Thanks. I drew them about a week after I met Ukitake, like you. Everyone sort of goes through that stage after meeting those two. Anyway, I'd already had to pick up Shunsui from a weekend binge by that time, so I had a pretty good idea of what he looked like n-"

"Lieutenant!" Nanao had grabbed the next page that Lisa's close encounter with Shunsui had apparently inspired.

"What? Like I wasn't going to look. It's human nature to be curious…"

"Yes, I've heard your speech before."

"Fine, fine. So when are we publishing?"

"What? These are never going to see the light of day."

"Don't be silly," the lieutenant replied, "you've spent so much time on them. I know plenty of people who would love to read it. We wouldn't use our real names, obviously. I've got connections in the newspaper headquarters. Captain Love's the editor in chief and I know he doesn't mind printing the odd doujinshi on the side."

"You're serious." Nanao's remark was more an affirmation than a question.

"Completely."

Nanao considered. No one would ever suspect that she wrote it, and it would make a lot of women in Sereitei pretty happy. In the end, she agreed.

The printing was a small one, but the copies that were made were passed around several times. The only one that wasn't dog eared and worn by the end of the month was Nanao's. She kept hers hidden inside her kidou book, and never lent it to anyone. She wasn't sure whether that was because it was incredibly precious to her or because she was too embarrassed to let anyone know she had one. Regardless, it was her favorite emblem of her unorthodox friendship with Yadomaru Lisa, and secretly she was proud to see her own work in print.

The day after the release they had spent the evening reading aloud to one another, slightly sloshed and propping each other up on the futon. Nanao left later and drunker than usual, and like their first evening, Lisa accompanied her home, though this time mostly to keep her on her feet. Lisa kissed her on the forehead before sending her off to the dorms, and Nanao waved sloppily goodbye. It was the last time they ever saw each other.

Nanao met someone else the next reading night. On her way to Lisa's, she ran into Captain Kyouraku Shunsui himself. And he remembered her name. She was beyond nervous. She was intimidated by him, as an extremely powerful shinigami, and as her captain, but she was more intimidated by the fact that he was all those things and the star of the yaoi ero manga that she currently held in her arms shut between the pages of her kidou textbook. She felt like she had shrunk several feet and regressed by years just standing in his presence. Thankfully, she had perfectly plausible reason to be there. Lisa had told her Captain that she was giving the girl extra lessons every month. If those lessons had turned into social events that were much more frequent, well, he didn't really need to be informed.

"Reading? I see. But I'm sorry, Lisa isn't here tonight."

His statement surprised Nanao. Lisa hadn't said anything about any prior engagements. She reacted, on reflection, rather impertinently.

"How come?" she blurted.

"She has an important mission."

Nanao must have looked concerned.

"Don't worry. She'll be back in the morning. I'm sure."

* * *

Nanao looked up as the door to the office slid open and Captain Kyouraku stepped in. She made no effort to hide the manga in her hands, but reached to wipe a tear from her face and adjust her glasses. "Hello Captain," she greeted him brusquely.

"Ah, my dear Nanao, what are you doing inside on such a fine day? Sun and sake are calling," he said, and reached in to drag her out the door. Missing the heft of her usual tome, she nevertheless lifted the manga and took a swipe at her overly forward captain's face. He reacted quickly, and stopped just short of her swing, her constant conditioning having honed his already impressive reflexes. He looked at the cover with surprise, and then looked past it and saw the hints of tears behind Nanao's glasses. She was good at hiding her emotions. No one else would have noticed that she had been crying.

"Ah, Nanao, that's a priceless masterpiece with an excellent plot and such handsome main characters. I wouldn't go waving it around like that."

She replaced the doujinshi on top of the stack she had found at the bottom of the drawer and handed it to Shunsui. "Then I advise you to take it to your own quarters along with the rest of your personal reading material." She went back to the stack of old documents and began to leaf through them.

Shunsui laughed. "Hmm, well, it might take more than one set of hands to do that." He put the stack on the floor and started pulling drawers out of the desk. After prying up the false bottoms, piles of ero magazines began to form around the eighth division's office. Watching him at work, Nanao sighed. "Don't bother, Captain," she said. "I'll just get rid of them for you." She concentrated energy around her right hand and pointed it at one of the heaps, but suddenly Shunsui was at her side, grasping her wrist.

"Don't be so hasty, Nanao."

She examined the pile in front of her, and was surprised to recognize the titles and covers of several of the magazines. This was Lisa's collection, almost all of it. The energy dissipated.

"I couldn't bring myself to throw it away, after she left," Shunsui said. "But my, I'm going to have some trouble fitting all this onto my bookshelf…"

"I'll take them," Nanao cut in sharply. She gathered the books into a neat pile and picked them up. Shunsui grabbed the one he had set on the floor, with his own face on top. He started out the door, Nanao behind him.

"Wait."

"What?"

Nanao took on a look of concentration and recited, "Sun and stars conceal me, scatter the light and blind the eye, bakudo 42: Mask of Air."

The area around the two shinigami shimmered and Shunsui rolled his eyes. That spell was designed for making scouting patrols invisible to ranging hollows.

"My, my, Nanao, what would Lisa say about that?"

She said nothing, merely hefted the books in her arms to a more comfortable position and walked past her captain.

Shunsui chattered happily on the way to the lieutenant's quarters. "If I had known my dear Nanao had such exquisite taste in reading materials, I would have been more than happy to indulge her."

"It's quite alright sir."

"Yes, my dear Nanao, but now I am afraid I have been far too subtle all these years."

"Certainly not, Captain."

All in all, they made five trips back and forth from the captain's office to the lieutenant's living quarters, earning confused looks from a fourth division member sweeping the streets when Shunsui began to whistle one of his favorite drinking songs. Nanao stomped on his foot until he shut up., but his exaggerated yelps of pain didn't help to make the situation any less strange. At least the healers might actually take some time to sleep after the incident, if they thought they were starting to have auditory hallucinations as a result of overwork and too many energy pills.

Sitting on Nanao's floor, Shunsui took a small bottle of sake and two wine cups out of his sleeve- how did he manage to fit it in there?- and began to pour drinks for Nanao and himself.

"No thank you, Captain," she protested, but he was insistent.

"Come, come, I know you used to do this with Lisa."

She blushed, sat down and took the cup. How much did he know about her relationship with his former lieutenant? Shunsui drank his own portion in one swallow.

"You two are so much alike," he mused, grabbing their doujinshi and leafing through it. "My, my was I really so much more toned back then?" he muttered. "I must be letting myself go…"

Nanao was fighting back tears again. In the hundred years since Lisa's disappearance, they had never discussed the matter. And if Nanao had been confused about her feelings for Yadomaru Lisa, they were even foggier when it to came to Shunsui. When Lisa disappeared, Nanao had taken it upon herself to fill the role of disciplinarian in the eighth division. At the same, she felt she was betraying her friend, and going against all the advice she had ever given her. Once Nanao had become the lieutenant, people had already begun to say that she was a merely a fill-in; the physical resemblance alone between Shunsui's present and ex Lieutenants made everyone whisper. Nanao hadn't doubted her Captain's intentions, but was afraid that she would never be able to match the courage of her vanished friend.

"Thank you, sir." Nanao said quietly. "I looked up to Lieutenant Yadomaru so much. In spite of, or maybe because of, all this." She gestured to the books all around her.

"Lisa was brave," Shunsui agreed. "She knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid of it."

_And that bravery let me put her in harm's way…_

He sighed. "A truly puzzling woman. I will never be exactly sure what possessed her to do the things she did."

Nanao said nothing. She sipped her sake, and imagined the question she wished she were bold enough to ask. _"What would you do if Yadomaru Lisa came back?"_

Shunsui, who had a suspicion of what Nanao left unsaid, was ashamed that he had no answer. He'd been waiting decades for the query, and still didn't know what he would say the day Nanao was brave enough to ask. In some ways, Shunsui was happy that Nanao lacked the temerity of her predecessor. Though it pained him to think he was holding her back, he wanted to be able to protect her the way he hadn't been able to save Lisa.

The two sat nursing their sake in silence, Shunsui flipping through some of Lisa's old magazines. Nanao simply stared at the cover of her doujinshi, lost in thought. From where he was sitting on the floor of her small apartment, Shunsui was close enough to lay what he thought was a comforting hand on Nanao's shoulder. When she didn't react, he crept his hand across her back and scooted closer. He'd almost drawn her into the crook of his arm when she spoke.

"I think," she said, two fingers headed to the bridge of her nose, "that you've had enough to drink, sir."

He froze, then laughed away the tension. "My dear, a man has never had enough to drink when dazzled with beauty like yours."

She'd reached for her usual tome.

"But, I suppose I'll have to finish drinking elsewhere. Yes, I'd better be off. I'm sure Juushiro misses me. And you'll want some time alone to do some reading, of course. Good night, darling Nanao."

As Shunsui swept away, Nanao wondered where the girl who'd kissed Yadomaru Lisa had gone. Vanished with the woman herself, it seemed. A part of her wanted to let Shunsui take her into his arms, but she knew she couldn't.

It was their habit. He wanted to keep her in close, because he had lost the woman he had let go, and she wanted to keep him at a distance, or he might never let her grow to match that woman. She sighed. Until Lisa's ghost was put to rest, they would continue their accustomed parts, in a play as endless as it was predictable.

It never occurred to Nanao that that ghost might one day come back to life.

* * *

"Let's go."

In Karakura town, Yadomaru Lisa slung her zanpakutou over her shoulder and headed to the battle field she had anticipated for a hundred years.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Hello all and thank you for reading! Thanks to Quercus, my eternal co-author, for beta-ing and a few lines here and there. I feel exceptionally bad for ignoring all my other stories on what has turned into the longest thing I've ever written. I really didn't mean to. And I know the ending is not an ending at all, but hopefully the manga will let us know what really happens. I don't know about you but I'm excited for Friday!! I hope my characterization of Lisa was believable, she was very hard to write with the few lines we get from her. But the triangle that will inevitably occur when she gets back just fascinates, though I'm sure the manga will ignore it, since it is a shonen series and not inclined towards romance.  
And as always, please leave a review with advice, random thoughts, etc. I love to talk about fics and bleach, and reviews make me SO HAPPY! **

**Peace, all,**

**La Romanesque**

**PS: there may be an omake at some point in time. Nothing long, and definitely silly. So keep your eyes peeled (or your alert buttons on).**


	2. Omake

"Hello Third Seat Kotetsu, is Captain Kyouraku here? I have paperwork for him to sign that's due this evening and I haven't been able to find him anywhere. Thirteenth division is one of his favorite hiding spots when there's work to be done. Honestly, I don't know why Captain Ukitake lets him get away with it-"

"Oww!" a sudden yelp came from behind the closed door of Ukitake's office, "Shun! Not there!"

Kiyone looked mortified, then said hastily, "Aah, no, Captain Kyouraku's not here. Maybe if you come back in few minutes he'll be do- arrgh, no" she interrupted herself, shaking her head in fluster. "I mean, why don't you go back to the Eighth division and wait for him to come back? My captain always says patience is a virtue." Kiyone smiled and twiddled her thumbs.

"My my, Juu, are you really so delicate?" Captain Kyouraku's voice reached Nanao's ears, and she flashed a killer glare at Kiyone, who had positioned herself squarely in front of the door.

"I will see Captain Ukitake now, if you don't mind."

"Ah, umm…" Kiyone bowed her head in defeat. "All right."

Nanao knocked, eight times, and then announced "Captain Ukitake, this is Ise Nanao. I'm coming in now."

She heard a muffled _oh shit _and shuffling feet as she slid the door open, but she saw nothing but Ukitake sitting at his desk, pen in hand.

"Please excuse me for interrupting, but Captain Kyouraku's presence is urgently needed for divison business."

"Ah, Shunsui? I'm sorry, but I haven't seen him all day." Ukitake smiled. "There are several bars you might try. You know him…" He suddenly winced, but kept the smile plastered onto his face, which slowly turned into a woozy grin. "Ooooh… I think he just…" Ukitake sighed and slumped facefirst onto his desk, a tiny trickle of drool finding its way onto his paperwork.

Nanao raised her eyebrows, then tiptoed surreptitiously to his desk. She pulled the papers out from under his head, held them out gingerly, and performed a contained fire spell to dry them before handing them to a red-faced Kiyone on her way out.

After Nanao's reiatsu had faded into the distance, Kyouraku Shunsui wriggled his formidable frame from under his friend's desk and stood up, adjusting his slightly squashed hat and wrinkled haori. He smiled at the sleeping Ukitake and replaced the needle and syringe into Ukitake's drawer of medical supplies, where it sat amidst a collection of various serums and supplements prepared by Captain Unohana herself. Shunsui collected Ukitake's puddled hakama from the floor behind him and called for Kiyone.

"Here," he said, throwing her the mass of black twill.

"Y-Yes sir!" she stammered, and carefully folded the pants while Shunsui covered the pants-less Ukitake in his pink haori and gathered the sleeping man into his arms.

Shunsui took off Ukitake's black kosode and lay him on his bed. After some convincing, Kiyone flash-stepped into her captain's room just long enough to put the hakama in his closet before rushing out. Shunsui chuckled and took one last look at his friend.

"You'd think after two thousand years he'd have learned to give himself his own shots," he said to himself, and started back to the eighth division office where his lovely Nanao was waiting.

* * *

**Author's Notes: When my beta (and sister) Quercus and I were talking about the plot for Human Nature, we had his idea (points above) for an omake. Somehow she got to it first, probably while I was busy writing for our other story we're co-writing, Ave Maria, a D Gray Man fanfic. So here it is. Written by Quercus, edited by yours truly. Oh, and we also double checked the anime to make sure that the desks are indeed solid in front, so it would be possible for someone to hide behind them. Anyway, as always leave a review with any questions, ideas, concerns, or simply something to say. We LOVE any and all reviews and reviewers. Which reminds me to thank Thingy, Crazy-fic-girl, Anihana, TheSmallestGhost, and Prim8 for reviewing. I really appreciate it!**

**Peace,**

**La Romanesque**

* * *


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